EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONS Tune Up this Summer/Prepare for the new School Year!
Summer is a tricky time when we encourage our children to drain off the excess of pressure from the academic school year AND set new goals for the coming year. Most of the tweens and teens I see in therapy have lagging skills in the executive functions realm that contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression while increasing impulsive, risky behaviors. Summer vacation time could be a wonderful space to strengthen deficits through building new habits.
Most parents associate Executive Function skills with school performance. Think a little more closely about your day and the skillset involved with being a parent, a professional, a community member and a friend. Our EF skills propel us through the demands of a full and satisfying life experience. No homework assignments does not mean our children have no obligations. Building skills when the activities are more enjoyable can be extremely impactful.
Does your child wake up at a set time to participate in a camp or enrichment program this summer?
Is equipment, supplies and dress requirements needed for their summer experiences?
Is your child among new peers and establishing new friendships?
Are household chores being maintained?
Are household rules being followed (curfews, electronics usage, bed times, behavioral expectations)?
How about the routines and rhythms in the house?
Has your child pursued or discovered a new passion in their life?
Researchers agree that executive functions are the key indicator of academic and professional success, plus satisfying, healthy relationships. In the middle school years, EF skills become apparent as children move toward independent work. In a nutshell, EF skills are an ability to master:
· TASK INITIATION: ability to get started.
· PLANNING & PRIORITIZING: ability to come up with steps to reach a goal.
· ORGANIZATION: ability to keep track of details.
· WORKING MEMORY: ability to hold information and use it to complete a task.
· FLEXIBLE THINKING/PROBLEM-SOLVING: ability to roll with the punches, changes,etc.
· CONTROL EMOTIONS: ability to know and manage emotions appropriately.
· IMPULSE CONTROL/BEHAVIORAL: ability to stop and think before acting.
SUSTAINED ATTENTION: ability to maintain focus for required periods of time.
· SELF MONITORING/INSIGHT/ACCOUNTABILITY: ability to evaluate your own performance.
What can parents do to help their child strengthen Executive Functioning?
Take an Inventory, attempt to remain “analytical” rather than emotional when considering the skills. Start with your child’s assets! Which skills do you observe to be strengths? Where are the deficits? On a scale from 1 to 10, where is your child’s mastery of a skill?
Is your child aware of their strengths and challenges? Creating “buy-in” from a child is a critical step to developing stronger EF. Once a child knows that learning new skills are involved, self-esteem becomes higher. Many children believe they are permanently flawed and “less than” when they are unaware of their ability to strengthen EF skills. Common signs of low self-esteem: apathetic, depressed, emotionally volatile, blaming others, unable to keep up with school work, etc. When a child is aware of their lagging skills, they are able to self-advocate for what they need from others and to reflect on how they can address challenges through their own actions.
Of special note: Executive Function skills are imprinted in the DNA (inherited), please do not be surprised if you recognize strengths and challenges similar to your own and your co-parent! Skills can be learned at any age, lifelong brain “plasticity” is one of the most exciting advances in the scientific evidence base currently. Your parenting has been found to be the single most impactful tool to increase EF skills.
Simple Changes to Daily Routines can start this summer and carry forth into the school year with consistency. The four ingredients found to boost EF skills are:
(1) 30 minutes of aerobic exercise every day.
(2) Mindfulness practice for 30 minutes every day.
(3) Sleep, at least 8 hours every day.
(4) identify effective coping skills for social and emotional regulation.
Discovering passion is a perfect summer time activity. Children with lagging EF skills can be considered “late bloomers”, finding out-of-the-box interests can be challenging. Parents can support their child’s quest through exposure to new experiences and encouragement to follow their passions. Risky and socially challenging behaviors can be alleviated when a child is pursuing an area of interest with great enthusiasm. New friendships are formed, feelings of competency are created and the “high” of being engaged can replace dangerous behaviors.
Parenting Style: Emotional stability in the home is found to strengthen and regulate EF. Modelling strong executive function in the home generates a core “family” value and behavioral expectation. Dr. Baumrind at UC Berkeley provided foundational research on parenting styles and EF research has identified the family dynamic and parenting style as a key factor in skills development. Recommendation for parents is to provide developmentally appropriate, firm expectations (defined rules) with warm responsiveness, aka “Authoritative Parenting”.
Some Parenting Strategies to support EF strengthening:
(1) Assume laziness is not the issue. Immature skills acquisition is the issue.
(2) Pick “battles” with parental wisdom. One issue at a time is all a teen or tween with lagging skills can manage.
(3) Natural Consequences should be used consistently. Logical connections between the “offense” and the consequence help your child recognize the impact of their behavior.
(4) Negotiation about expectations and consequences is both important and tricky for a parent. Flexible thinking skills plus accountability can result when children are required to participate in determining their responsibilities and owning their actions.
(5) Assemble a support network. If building EF skills is too intensive and causing too much friction in the home, consider hiring a coach or tutor and follow through with school support services.
(6) Verify that tasks are completed. Trust is important but usually needs to be built gradually. Reach out to others to verify.
(7) Maintain effective and sincere praise throughout. You have identified strengths, point out examples. Praise specific steps in efforts even if the goal has not been achieved. Self-esteem is crucial.
(8) Goals should be realistic. Does your child have the skills to accomplish the goal? A balance between a challenging goal and realistic goal is the aim.
(9) Offer a wide range of new opportunities for your child to discover their own passions, strengths and challenges.
We aim for growth, not perfection. Every step forward is worth a celebration and I hope you have much to celebrate this summer!
